Currently Listening Veneer see related

so i got my headshots.  i already e-mailed most o' yous, but here's the link:  http://www.photo-proofs.com/BGU/giah/cbx49/fave1155021566456_01.html

please vote for the ones you like the most.  thanks all.

Currently Watching Weeds - Season One see related

yeah i know i haven't updated in a while blahblahblahblahblahblah.  anywhoo, life's been pretty much the same.  i still work at borders.  i still hate it more than life.  i've kinda started looking around for another job, but it's hard.  i'm just not sure what i wanna do.  i definitely need more $, and i don't wanna work nights or weekends, but i loathe office work.  WHY DO I HAFTA BE SO PICKY?!?!?!?!  actually, i think i would like working at a hotel.  i've always liked hotel environments.  maybe i can find a front desk job.  maybe this is all wishful thinking.  probably.  well, one exciting thing is gonna happen soon.  i'm FINALLY getting my goddamn headshots.  i have an appointment august 4th.  i'm kinda nervous though.  i really suck at posing, and i'm probably the most unphotogenic person in the universe.  ah well, we'll see hao it goes.  i needa find a nice shirt though.  preferably blue or light blue.  something that'll match my skinny pink tie.  any suggestions?  i was planning on going to j.crew tomorrow, but i can't really afford to spend more than $30. 

last week i went to the beach and the getty museum by myself.  i wanted to start being more productive on my days off.  instead o' staying in bed watching reruns all fucking day, i decided to venture out into the world.  the beach was nice.  i read some, and listened to my ipod.  the next day i went to the getty.  that was pretty awesome.  i just love going there.  i feel all calm and relaxed.  i'm hoping to go again in the next couple o' weeks. 

man, i just realized hao long it's been since i've posted.  i never mentioned the world cup or wimbledon.  ok, so this was the first world cup i ever really invested my time in, and i've gotta say that i really enjoy watching soccer.  like i kinda wanna keep up with it even though the world cup is over.  btw, FUCK ITALY.  i still love zidane, even though that was the weirdest/most satisfying thing i ever did see.  i thought it was a joke at first.  whatevs, that fucker got what he deserved.  i can't explain it.  i got some sick satisfaction watching that bald head ram into that sob's hairy chest.  ok, on to wimbledon.  nadal is my new favorite.  i so wanted him to beat federer.  even though i like that moon-faced swedish sausage, nadal's a lefty.  plus, he's just AWESOME.  on the women's side, i HATE henin-hardenne.  lil belgian bitch.  i'm glad she lost.  even if it was to that she-male frenchy monster mauresmo.  venus and serena, you bitches better do well at the u.s. open.  quit breaking my heart!  ok that's enough o' that.  i'll talk to y'all later.  peace out bitches.

p.s.  one o' the BEST shows on tv!  can't wait for season 2.

this past weekend was AAAAAWWWWWWWSOME.  i'll post more later with some nice pics.  muahahahahahaha.  peace.

Currently Listening to:  the cd AJ made for me and lily.

Currently Reading A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting By Deborah Addington see related

i know, it's been a long time blahblahblahblahblah.  i guess i haven't updated cuz nothing's been going on in my life.  i'm still working at borders.  it still sucks, but it's getting to be bearable again.  although today i really wanted to kill myself.  so, bananarama's coming in a couple o' weeks for an in-store signing.  yeah, "cruel summer" bitches have a new album, but they're minus 1 member.  anywhoo, this guy calls today and keeps me on the phone for 15 minutes asking me for every lil detail about the signing.  he wanted to know what records they'd sign, hao many, what time and hao long they'd be in the store, if they'd get there early, if he needed a ticket, when he could start lining up, etc.  i'm convinced he's gonna murder em.

so i'm gonna try to get my headshots by the end o' june.  that means i needa lose some more weight, buy a new pair o' glasses and some clothes, and get a tan.  oh yeah, and save enough money to take the goddamn pictures.  i'm probably looking at around $500 for the pictures alone.  once that's done though, i'll hopefully be able to start submitting myself for stuff and start auditioning again.  i miss acting.  i miss taking classes.  oh yeah, that's another thing i needa do.  find an acting class.  ok that's enough o' that.

emma's b-day was really fun.  lotsa interesting things happened and i met some cool people.  too bad i don't remember ANY of them.  oh well.  but yeah, needless to say i was DRUNKETY DRUNK DRUNK DRUNK.  i need more fun nights like that.  things have gotten pretty boring lately.  it's partly my own fault though.  i've slowly been morphing back into a hermit.  i don't know what's wrong with me.  ok imma stop now, cuz i'm annoying myself.  oh, speaking o' b-days...6-6-06 bitches.  i wanna do something fun, cuz 24 sucked my asshole and i wanna kick off old age by having a blast.  i don't know what to do though, so i'd really like some ideas.  ok i guess that's all for now.  hope y'all are doing well.  peace out bitches.

p.s.  some guy ordered that book, so naturally my co-workers and i decided to look through it.  there were like black and white instructional drawings on hao to go about doing it.  i just about died.  DIED!  hahahahahaha.  my manager started coughing as she looked through it.  most of his previous orders were serial killer and true crime books.  hmm, serial killers and fisting.  now that's a guy you wanna party with.

Currently Listening To Be Continued... By Elton John see related

- Levon

lemme apologize in advance for this long ass post.  i just needa get some things off my chaffed nippled chest, so here goes.  i'm getting really fed up with other peoples' FUCKING IGNORANCE.  living in l.a., you'd think people would be a lil more open-minded, but NO.  the other day i was driving home from work and i was behind this guy in a brand new acura legend.  all of a sudden, he starts shaking his fist and flicking me off.  i was kinda confused at first.  i thought maybe he thought i was tailgating him or something, but c'mon.  it's fucking 6pm on hollywood blvd.  we were all bumper to bumper.  anywhoo, so he moves over and then swoops in behind me as i pass him, and he's still going crazy.  when i finally came to a stop, he pulled up next to me and it's this old white man.  he started yelling at me saying i needed to get off the road, cuz i didn't know hao to drive.  i didn't really know what his problem was, so i was just like, "ok, why is that?"  and he just kept telling me i needed to get off the road.  finally, i was just like, "whatever dude.  you're crazy."  as i started to drive away, he yelled out "Go back to your country!"  i immediately stopped, and as i stuck my head out the window to spit on his car, he sped off, making a left.  at first i was kinda shocked and didn't really understand what happened.  not since elementary school have i encountered such racism.  needless to say, i was PISSED.  but then i talked to katherine and she reminded me that he probably only had about a decade left to live, so that made me feel a little better for about a minute.  then, ya know, i prayed to lucifer for his, his childrens', and his grand childrens' horrible deaths, and that made me feel A LOT better.  i hope they all die, and there's nothing anyone can say that'll make me feel bad about that. 

i've been holding a lotta stuff inside, and this incident was the last straw.  a lotta my co-workers have been saying lots of stupid shit, and i'm not gonna let it slide anymore.  i tried giving them the benefit of the doubt before, but fuck that.  here are a few examples of what i'm talking about.

1.  so one day i was gonna reshelve some books and i saw one called Making Out in Chinese.  one o' my gay co-workers thought it necessary to tell me that he wasn't attracted to asian guys.  first of all, what makes you think it's ok to tell me that you're not attracted to asian guys.  HELLO, I'M FUCKING ASIAN.  secondly, i don't fucking care what kinda guys you like.  lastly, and most importantly, YOU'RE UGLY!  no asian guy would even want you, so SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FAT FUCK!

2.  i found a co-workers blog online and read one of her entries.  she and i have always gotten along, so i was pretty bummed when i read it.  she explained hao while she was at work one day, she was telling another co-worker some story about hao she fell, and this random asian woman said that maybe if she weren't so fat, she wouldn't have fallen.  ok, that's fucked up.  i woulda slapped the bitch myself.  but then she went on and said she asked the asian woman hao dogs tasted, and my manager laughed along with her.  ok, i'm really getting sick o' people playing the race card when trying to get back at someone who's hurt them.  why do you instantly hafta say something about their race.  it's not fucking original.  go back to elementary school you fuckers.  oh, and also, if the woman were latino, would she have asked her hao burritos tasted.  i don't fucking think so.  so why is it ok for her to say that to an asian woman.  and why the fuck is my manager laughing at that shit.  FUCK!

3.  i'm getting really sick o' non-asians trying to do the "asian" accent when telling a story.  first of all, YOU DON'T KNOW HAO TO DO IT SO IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!  secondly, you're not even trying to do it accurately.  you're just using the most stereotypical long duck dong accent you know.  so basically, you sound like an ASSHOLE.  thirdly, and once again, what makes you think it's ok to do that in front o' me.  I'M FUCKING ASIAN YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS.  lastly, i know you're doing it to make your story a lil funnier and more interesting, but seriously DON'T.  truth is, you're story was FUCKING LAME to begin with and no matter what dumbass accent you try to use, it will ALWAYS BE A FUCKING BORING ASS STORY THAT KNOW ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT.  ESPECIALLY ME.  SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUTTA MY LIFE!!!  FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok look.  y'all know i'm all for joking around about race, and i can take it as much as i dish it out.  but that's when i know it's coming from a good place.  the shit i listed above is not coming from a good place.  it's coming from peoples' assholes.  i'm done with brushing this kinda shit off, and just awkwardly laughing at stupid jokes.  no more.  NO MORE!!!  i'm sick of it, and i'm not gonna take it anymore.  GRACE PERIOD IS OVER MOTHERFUCKERS.

ok i'm done.  sorry this was so long and angry, but i had to let this all out.  in other news, erica's b-day was AWESOME!  i had the most fun i've had in a while.  i got all kinds o' fucked up, laughed til my face hurt, and did the worm.  twas really good hanging out with everyone.  almost as good as the california burrito i devoured from la posta.  thanks to katee and lily for letting me crash at their place.  ok, my fingers hurt now from all that SHOUTING.  talk at y'all later masturbators. 

p.s.  if you don't watch american idol, you're dumb and you should.  this guy is AWESOME!  he's my idol.